shifting expectations

THE SIMPLE NEWSLETTER - ISSUE #024

Every week, Adam or I take a moment to reflect on something we’ve lived, noticed, or learned — and share it with you in hopes that it sparks thought, perspective, or action in your own life. This week, I’ve been thinking deeply about relationships — especially how they evolve when we take on new roles in business and life.

TOM'S THOUGHTS:

Over the past 22 years, my relationship with my wife has seen many evolutions — dating, marriage, parenthood, career changes, and most recently, entrepreneurship. With each phase, we found ourselves in a new season, each demanding a fresh look at how we functioned as a couple and a family.

When we were younger and raising small children, my wife held the primary responsibility for day-to-day family operations — school pickups, schedules, and all the invisible mental load that comes with being the default parent. As my role shifted into full-time entrepreneurship and I became CEO and then co-founder of Atomic Business Coaching, I found myself more physically present at home, able to take on more responsibilities that were once solely hers.

But none of this was automatic. It required ongoing communication and a mutual willingness to renegotiate what we expected of each other. My wife often says, “Every marriage is a contract that needs to be renegotiated as life happens.” I’ve found that to be incredibly true — not just in marriage, but in all close relationships impacted by leadership roles.

Just this week, Adam and I met with a new client — a young man transitioning into the role of CEO. He’s beginning to feel the ripple effects of that shift in his personal relationship. It reminded me that this “Accidental CEO” identity doesn’t come with a manual — and most certainly doesn’t come without impact.

Being a CEO, especially by accident or evolution rather than intent, changes everything. It changes your schedule, your presence, your energy, and most importantly, your relational dynamics. If you don’t communicate about those changes, the silent assumptions can erode even your closest connections.

TOM'S LESSONS:

The key lesson I want to share is this: Communication in relationships is not optional — it is constant and necessary.

Whether you're stepping into a new role in business, or life throws a new curveball your way, you must pause and renegotiate the contract of your closest relationships. That contract might be unspoken, but it’s real. And it needs to evolve.

Ask questions like:

• What do we expect of each other now?

• What has changed in our circumstances?

• What do we need more help with?

• Where do we each feel unseen or overwhelmed?

Don’t assume the other person knows your needs or recognizes your new capacity. Share. Ask. Listen.

If you're in a leadership role, especially if you’ve recently stepped into the CEO seat — intentionally or not — recognize that your identity has shifted. And that shift needs to be acknowledged not only by you, but by those closest to you.

Do the thing this week: Have a conversation with your partner, friend, or teammate. Renegotiate the contract. Not because something is broken — but because everything is growing.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Life doesn’t stay still — and neither do we. The people we love, work with, and lead deserve the same attention and clarity we give to our goals and calendars. Whether you’re navigating a personal relationship or managing team dynamics, remember this: growth requires communication.

Until next time,

Tom

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